The Upside of Love Read online

  “I’m sorry, Luke. She ran out of the apartment before I could stop her,” Maddie said.

  “Where is she?” Charley cried.

  “I don’t know, peanut. I’m trying to figure it out.”

  “I overheard my mom talking to my dad about how you blamed Lily for Callie’s death.”

  I looked over at Maddie and gave her a stern look.

  “I’m sorry. I thought she was asleep.”

  “She didn’t cause Callie to die.” She continued to cry.

  “I know she didn’t, peanut. I’m so sorry,” I said as I grabbed her and hugged her.

  She pushed me away. “I hate you for making Lily go away. I hate you!” she screamed as she ran out of the apartment.

  Tears rolled down my face as I looked at Maddie and screamed Charley’s name. Maddie left the apartment and I threw my bottle cap against the wall. “FUCK!” I screamed.

  Sam walked over to me and put his hand on my shoulder. “I’m sorry, Luke. Just give it time. She’ll be back and the two of you will work things out. You’re meant to be together and you’ll find a way.”

  “I hope so, Sam. I really do.”

  ****

  Lily

  I was up in my room when I heard the front door open. My mom and I had plans to go shopping, but first, she had to run an errand, so we’d go when she came back. I grabbed my purse and stopped in the middle of the stairs when I saw Hunter standing in the foyer.

  “Lily,” he said.

  “Brynn isn’t home,” I said as I continued down the stairs and into the kitchen.

  “I know. I’m waiting for her. She told me that you and your mom were out shopping.”

  “She told you wrong,” I said as I grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge.

  “I think we need to talk.”

  “You think?” I snapped.

  “I’m sorry, Lily. I really am. I know you hate me and you probably dream every day of new ways to murder me, and I don’t blame you. I would too. But I am truly sorry. Your mom told me you found someone really great and I’m really happy for you.”

  I stood there and listened to his bullshit, taking in the stench behind every last word.

  “Are you done?” I asked.

  He looked nervous as he put his hands in his pockets and slowly nodded.

  “Cancel your plans with Brynn; you’re taking me to the park.”

  “What? I can’t do that.”

  “You can and you will. I need to put this to rest and behind me once and for all.”

  He pulled out his phone, called Brynn, and told her what I had demanded. I called my mother and told her there was a change of plans and that I wouldn’t be going shopping with her. She wanted to know what was going on and I told her that I’d explain later.

  Hunter and I hopped into his BMW and headed to the park. It was the one place he always kept his promise and took me to.

  “Why are you doing this, Lily?” he asked. “Why the park?”

  “Why not? You said we needed to talk, so that’s where we’re going to do it.”

  “You’re not secretly planning to kill me, are you?” he asked with seriousness.

  “I can’t make any promises.”

  He looked at me, and I busted out laughing. Oh my God, it was good to laugh again. As much as I hated him, he still could amuse me. As soon as we arrived at the park, we took a seat under a tree, just like we always did.

  “After talking with Brynn, I can see that the two of you are really and seriously in love. I just wish you would have told me before we got so into the wedding. I don’t get it, Hunter. Why? Why didn’t you just tell me?”

  “Because I didn’t want to hurt you. Lily, I loved you. I really did, and every time Brynn and I would say it was over, we just couldn’t seem to end it. I’m so sorry. You have no idea how many times I wanted to call you, but I couldn’t because I truly hated myself for what I did to you. I guess you could say I was a coward.”

  I could hear the sincerity and remorse in his voice, just like I had heard it in Brynn’s. The scar that the two of them left me would forever be there, but maybe with a little more understanding.

  “Yes, you and Brynn were both cowards, but the fact that the two of you are still together tells me that you were meant to be with her and not me.”

  He reached over and lightly placed his hand on mine and I instantly jerked it away. “This doesn’t mean we’re going to be besties or anything like that.”

  “I know. Just the fact that you understand means the world to us. Why don’t we all have dinner tonight?” he said.

  “Don’t push it.”

  I got up from the ground, wiped the dirt off my ass, and told him to take me home.

  ****

  Luke

  I went to the bar to check on things and, as soon as Candi saw me, she motioned for me to talk to her. I walked over behind the bar and grabbed the bottle of vodka and a glass.

  “What’s up, Candi?”

  “I don’t like that Cody girl you hired,” she said.

  “Why?”

  “She’s been nosing around, asking a bunch of questions about you and Lily. I think she likes you.”

  “There’s no need to worry about her,” I said as I downed my shot.

  “I know her type, Luke, and she’s looking to get you into bed.”

  “Like I said, don’t worry about her. She’s a good employee so far and if she crosses the line, I’ll take care of it.”

  “Have you heard from Lily yet?” she asked.

  “No. I guess I will when she’s ready.”

  “I’m sorry, boss,” she said as she put her hand on my shoulder.

  “Yeah, me too.” I walked away and headed straight to my office.

  It was two a.m. and the last customer finally stumbled out. I helped the crew clean up and then walked the girls to their cars. When I got home, I headed straight for bed. I was tired and thinking about Lily all day wore me out, not to mention the fact that I was lonely as hell without her.

  16

  Lily

  I spent the last two weeks thinking about my life, thinking about the anger I had finally let go about Brynn and Hunter, but the anger I still harbored with Luke and his accusation that I was the one responsible for Callie’s death. It had been over three weeks since I’d seen or talked to him, or anyone else, for that matter. My relationship with Brynn over the past couple of weeks was tolerable, but things would never be the same again. I thought about my studio and how I never opened it. All the work and long hours I put into getting it ready and it just sat there. I had planned on staying in Seattle for a few more weeks until my phone beeped with a text message from Gretchen.

  “Giselle went into labor and she’s in the hospital. It’s way too early, Lily. Things aren’t looking good. She’s asking for you.”

  “I’m on the next flight out. Tell her I’m on my way.”

  I couldn’t believe Giselle was in labor. She still had eight weeks left and we hadn’t even had her baby shower yet. I called the airlines and booked the next flight out, which would get me into Los Angeles around eight p.m. I quickly threw all my things in my suitcase and drove to the airport. My mother and Brynn weren’t home, so I sent them a text message explaining why I had to suddenly leave and go back to Santa Monica. As I sat on the plane, I couldn’t stop fidgeting. Not only was I scared for Giselle, I was a nervous wreck to see Luke. When the plane finally landed, I walked to my car and drove straight to the hospital.

  As the elevator doors opened, Lucky was standing there. I stepped off and gave him a tight hug.

  “How is she?” I asked.

  He looked different. He had a look of worry and despair on his face that I’d never seen before, a seriousness that made me worry even more.

  “She’s scared and so am I. Thank you for coming back, Lily. She’s been asking for you. I’ve never seen her like this. She’s always so strong and sure of everything. But now, she’s really scared and nervous.”


  “Don’t worry. I’m sure everything will be fine. I’ll go see her now. Where are you heading?”

  “To grab something to eat. Do you want anything?” he asked.

  “No. I’m good.” I smiled as I patted his shoulder.

  I walked down to Giselle’s room, and when I opened the door, she looked up at me and started crying. My problems suddenly disappeared and my main focus was my best friend, who needed me. I tilted my head and walked over to her bed, sitting down on the edge and giving her a hug with tears in my eyes.

  “I’m so happy you’re back,” she cried. “Lily, I’m so worried. The doctors aren’t sure what’s going to happen. They’re running all kinds of tests and put me on some medication.”

  “Shh. The doctors know what they’re doing and the baby is going to be fine.” I smiled.

  Gretchen reached over and grabbed my hand.

  “Welcome home.” She smiled.

  “Where’s Lucky?” Giselle asked.

  “He went to get something to eat. He’ll be back soon. He better be treating you right,” I said.

  “He is. He’s so worried,” she said as she closed her eyes.

  Gretchen motioned for me to step to the other side of the room.

  “Thank you for coming. I know this has to be so hard for you right now and I’m sorry,” she whispered.

  “Don’t worry about me. I’m fine. The three of us have been through so much together and I would never not be here for either one of you,” I said as I hugged her.

  Lucky walked back in the room and went right over to Giselle’s bedside. I stood there and watched him as he held her hand and gently rubbed his thumb back and forth across her skin.

  “I’m going to get some coffee,” I said.

  “The coffee bar is closed now, but there’s a machine down the hall. Believe it or not, the coffee is pretty good,” Gretchen said.

  As I stepped out of the room, I looked to my left and saw Luke standing a few feet away. I started to tremble and my heart began to beat at a rapid pace. All I kept hearing in my head was our conversation and how he said he blamed me for Callie’s death. I turned away and walked down the hall towards the coffee machine. I prayed he didn’t follow me. The rapid beating of my heart ached so badly that I felt like I was having a heart attack. I turned to the right and into the small waiting room that housed the coffee machine.

  “Lily, please don’t turn away from me,” he said from behind.

  I put my money in the machine with a shaking hand and hit the coffee button.

  “I have nothing to say to you, Luke. I’m back for Giselle.”

  “I know, babe.”

  I turned around and looked at him as I held up my finger. “Don’t. Don’t call me that. You lost that right. I’m not doing this with you. I have my best friend lying in a hospital bed, ready to give birth two months early, and that’s what I’m focusing on.”

  I grabbed the cup from the machine and stormed past him. I heard him yell my name, but I didn’t care. I couldn’t care. Because if I did, I’d fall to pieces yet once again.

  ****

  Luke

  I sat down in the chair and cupped my face in my hands. She hated me. I could see it in her eyes and I didn’t blame her one bit.

  “Bro, are you okay?” Sam said as he sat down next to me.

  “No,” I replied as I looked up at him. “I saw Lily and she ran from me.”

  “What did you expect? The last time the two of you spoke, you said some awful things to her.”

  “I know that and I’m trying to apologize to her, but she won’t let me.”

  “She will, in time.”

  “I don’t have time, Sam. I need to make things right, now!”

  “Come on,” he said as he put his hand on my shoulder. “Let’s go see how Lucky and Giselle are doing.”

  I didn’t know if that was such a good idea because Lily was in the room. But, Lucky and Giselle were both my good friends and I needed to make sure everything was going to be okay. Sam and I walked into the room and my eyes went straight to Lily, who was sitting on the edge of the bed, holding Giselle’s hand. She knew we walked in but refused to turn around and look at us.

  “Hey, Lily.” Sam smiled as he walked over to her and kissed her cheek.

  “Hi, Sam,” she replied.

  “Welcome home.”

  “Thank you.”

  Lucky walked over to me and Sam and asked us if we could step outside with him. He took us out to a courtyard and then pulled a cigarette from his pocket.

  “Dude, when did you start smoking again?” Sam asked.

  “Since all of this. I’m scared, guys. This is my baby, my daughter, we’re talking about and not knowing anything is driving me crazy. I’m ready to punch someone.”

  “You need to stay calm for Giselle’s and your daughter’s sake,” I said.

  “I know I do. It’s hard though. Thanks, guys, for coming to the hospital. It means a lot to us.”

  Lucky wasn’t being typical Lucky anymore. He was legitimately scared and he had every reason to be. He was acting like a responsible adult. As soon as he finished his smoke, we went back up to the room, where the nurse told all of us that visiting hours were over for everyone except Lucky. I watched as Lily gave Giselle a kiss on the cheek and told her that she’d be back in the morning, and I also watched her walk right out the door without even looking at me and possibly right out of my life.

  “Luke, she needs time,” Gretchen said as she put her hand on my arm.

  “Everybody keeps telling me that,” I said as I walked out of the room.

  17

  Lily

  Just as I parked the Explorer and grabbed my suitcase from the back, Luke’s Jeep pulled up. Shit. I pulled up the handle on my suitcase and began rolling it to the door. I heard his car door shut and, suddenly, his hand was grabbing my suitcase.

  “Let me help you, Lily,” he said.

  “I can do it myself,” I snapped as I jerked the suitcase away from him.

  “Hate me! Hate me all you want because I’m sorry for everything!” he yelled. “I’m sorry for what I said to you. I want you, Lily. I want our relationship back. I love you!”

  I stopped walking when I heard his words and let the rage build inside me. I turned around in a fit of anger and looked at him underneath the bright street light.

  “You think you can just come back to town when you’re ready and expect things to go back to normal? You broke me. You shattered me when you stood there and said you blamed me for Callie’s death. You crushed me into even more tiny pieces when you walked out and left me. You, Luke Matthews, did that to me!” I screamed.

  By that time, I was a sobbing mess and that was when Gretchen and Sam pulled up. “We needed each other for support, and you turned your back on me. You wouldn’t even listen to me, and for that, I hate you! Do you hear me? There is no ‘us.’ You broke us way beyond repair!” I screamed.

  Gretchen came running over and hugged me as tightly as she could. She grabbed my suitcase, the keys out of my hand, and led me into my apartment.

  “Who the hell does he think he is?” I cried.

  She walked into the kitchen and pulled a bottle of wine from the cabinet. She poured some in a glass and handed it to me, then went into the bathroom and grabbed some tissues.

  “Here,” she said as she handed them to me.

  I sat down on the couch and brought my knees up to my chest.

  “Lily, I’m really worried about you.”

  “Don’t be. I just exploded. He had it coming. You better get back to Sam. I’ll call you in the morning.”

  “I don’t want to leave you.”

  “Go. Please. I love you but I need to be alone.”

  She leaned over and kissed my forehead. “You better call me first thing in the morning.”

  “I will. Thank you, Gretchen.”

  “I’m so happy you’re back,” she said as she hugged me.

  ****

  Luke<
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  She made it very clear that she didn’t want anything to do with me. I fucked up in such a way that I didn’t know how the hell to fix it. Gretchen walked into the apartment and looked at me. She stood there with an angry look on her face and shook her finger at me, but the words wouldn’t come out of her mouth.

  “Don’t, Gretchen. I already know,” I said with a tear in my eye as I looked down.

  Sam was sitting at the table, not saying a word. Gretchen walked over to me and wrapped her arms around me.

  “I love you, Luke. You’re my friend just as much as Lily is. You’re both hurting in such a way that I feel so helpless.”

  “I need her back. I want her back. She won’t listen to me and I don’t know what to do.”

  “I think the best thing you can do is slowly try to rebuild your friendship. She can’t hate you forever. I know she won’t. I think it’s just the shock of seeing you again after so many weeks. She’ll calm down and, when she does, she’ll need you. I know Lily and you’re the best thing in her life and she’ll come to realize that once she calms down.”

  Sam walked over to us and wrapped his arms around both of us.

  “Yeah, what she said.”

  I couldn’t help but let out a soft laugh. Gretchen was right. It was time to focus on winning Lily back and that was what I was going to do, no matter what the cost was. And now it wasn’t only Lily I needed to win back, I also needed to win back Charley.

  ****

  Lily

  The next morning, I got up at the crack of dawn and was going to go to the studio before I headed to the hospital to see Giselle. I had just finished getting dressed when my phone rang. I picked it up and saw Lucky was calling.

  “Hello,” I answered.

  “Lily, Giselle is in labor and the doctors say she has to deliver the baby. She’s asking for you. She wants you in the delivery room.”

  “Tell her I’m on my way.”

  I put on my shoes and grabbed my keys. As soon as I got in the Explorer, I inserted the key and turned it. It wouldn’t start. FUCK! Come on, come on, I said as I tried multiple times. I started pounding the steering wheel with my fists when I saw Luke walk out of the building. I got out of the SUV and had no choice but to ask him if Sam and Gretchen were still home.