Lie Next to Me Read online

  “Turn around, put your hands on the wall, and bend over,” he said as his hands first took down my thong and then pushed my skirt over my waist. “Fuck, look at that perfect ass,” he said as he lightly slapped it.

  He pushed into me hard and moved in and out at a rapid pace while his hands had a tight grip on my hips. The pressure was building, my body was tightening, and I was ready to explode.

  “That’s it, sweetheart.”

  I let out a moan with each thrust and Ian put his hand over my mouth. That turned me on even more as my body shuddered with pleasure. His thrusting slowed as he released himself inside me.

  “Ah, you feel so damn good,” he whispered as his last thrust stayed deep inside me.

  We stayed like that for a moment and then Ian pulled out of me, pulled up his pants, and handed me my thong. After I put it on and pulled down my skirt, he pulled me close to him and kissed me as he hit the button. The elevator jerked and then started going down. He looked at me and smiled as he ran his finger down my cheek. When the doors opened, Ian put his hand on the small of my back and we walked out of the building.

  “I’ll see you when you get home and I’ll have Charles cook us dinner,” he said as he kissed me on the cheek.

  “See you at home.” I smiled.

  Home. He’d see me at home. The sound of that coming from him was bittersweet. I loved living there with him, but it also hurt more times than not. I drove to Dr. Neil’s office and was instantly seen when I arrived.

  “I need to discuss Ian, Dr. Neil.”

  “Okay, what’s going on?”

  “I’m in love with him and he doesn’t feel the same way. He told me yesterday that he’s happy with our friendship the way it is and not to complicate things.”

  Dr. Neil tilted her head and looked at me with empathy. “Only you can make the decision if that’s how you want to keep things. If you do, then you’re opening yourself up to extreme heartache down the road. If you don’t, then you need to move on and start rebuilding your life, without Ian. I’m not sure a man like Ian Braxton can change.”

  “The nightmares don’t exist when Ian is with me at night. When he’s not, they come back.”

  “Ian saved your life. He gave you safety. He took care of you and saw that you had everything you needed. From what you’ve told me, you’ve never experienced safety. You’ve lived pretty much in fear since your mother died. Ian takes that fear from you when he’s around, and when he’s not, you go back to that place of pain. Let me ask you something. Have you ever confronted your aunt about your feelings and how you felt growing up in her house?”

  “No,” I whispered as I shook my head.

  “In order to move on from the past, you need to confront it.”

  ****

  When I walked into the house, the first thing I did was change into comfortable clothes. I walked to the kitchen and saw Ian sitting on the patio. I stepped outside and sat in the lounge chair next to him. As he handed me a glass of wine, he smiled.

  “How did your appointment go?”

  “It went good. Dr. Neil told me that I need to face my past in order for the nightmares to stop. She suggested that I go back to Indiana and put closure on it.”

  “Then we’ll leave tomorrow,” he said.

  “Tomorrow? Are you crazy? And what’s this ‘we’ business?”

  Ian chuckled. “The sooner the better. The holidays are coming up and you need to put all this behind you. Plus, I’m going with you. There’s no way you’re going back to that place by yourself. I won’t allow it.”

  “You won’t allow it? I do believe this is my life, Ian, and I’m the one who’s in control of my life.”

  Hell, I didn’t even know where those words came from, but I was proud of myself for saying them. Ian stared at me. He was giving me the “I’m trying to figure you out” look.

  “Rory, please let me accompany you back to Indiana so you don’t have to go alone. It would make me feel better knowing that I was there with you.”

  I smiled at him as I got up from my chair and sat on his lap. I wrapped my arms around his neck and lightly kissed his cheek. “Thank you for offering, Ian. I would love for you to come with me.”

  “Why do you have to make things so difficult?” he smirked. “I’ll call my father’s pilot and tell him that we’re leaving tomorrow morning, and we’ll fly back on Wednesday.”

  “You father has his own plane?”

  “Yes, and it’s very nice. You’ll like it.” He smiled as he kissed the tip of my nose. “Let’s go eat. Charles made us a nice dinner.”

  As we walked into the dining room, Mandy was setting the food on the table. She looked over at me and smiled. I winked at her.

  “What was that for?” Ian asked.

  “What was what for?”

  “Why did you wink at Mandy?”

  “She had a problem earlier and I helped her resolve it,” I said as I folded my napkin in my lap.

  “Don’t get involved with help, Rory.”

  “Ian, do you even know anything about her? Do you even know what goes on in your own house?”

  “Why would I care anything about her? She’s my maid. She’s here to do a job and that’s it.”

  His stone cold heart was rearing its ugly head again. I couldn’t believe he’d just said that.

  “She’s a single mom. She has a two-year-old daughter.”

  “Where’s the dad?” he asked.

  “He took off when he found out she was pregnant.”

  “Smart man.”

  My eyes widened when he said that and I had a feeling a whole new side of Ian was about to emerge that I wasn’t going to like. Did I comment and run the absolute risk of starting a huge argument or did I let it go? I opted for commenting.

  “How could you say that? He left that poor girl pregnant and alone to raise their baby by herself while he took the easy way out.”

  Ian sighed. “Then maybe she should’ve been more careful.”

  Oh, shit. I knew he didn’t just say that. It takes two people to make a baby.

  “Why is it up to the woman to be careful? What about the guy? A woman doesn’t get pregnant by herself, Ian.”

  “Listen, Rory, I’m not arguing about this with you. It’s stupid. Okay, she’s a single mom. I pay her well, so she shouldn’t have too much trouble paying the bills.”

  “Give her a raise,” I blurted out.

  Ian wiped his mouth on his napkin and looked at me. “No, I’m not giving her a raise.”

  “For the bullshit she had to put up with concerning your father, I think she deserves one.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  Shit. I didn’t mean to say that.

  “What are you talking about?” Ian asked again. “You know, Rory, you’ve had an issue with my father from the first day you met him and I don’t understand why, but it’s really starting to piss me off.”

  Breathe. Breathe. Okay, this time, the breathing wasn’t working, and I was all fired up.

  “Piss you off?!” I exclaimed as I got up from the table and pointed my finger at him. “Your father asked me to give him a blow job this morning and then he had Mandy pinned up against the wall. So, the only one who should be pissed off here is me! Not you, Ian, because you don’t get to be pissed off. You can go fuck yourself because I’m done here. You’ve defended that disgusting pig one too many times.”

  I stormed up the stairs and slammed the bedroom door. Tears started to fill my eyes and I was so burning mad that I couldn’t think or see straight. I needed to take to heart what Dr. Neil said about Ian. I paced back and forth across the room. A while later, the door opened and Ian stood there, staring at me. “Why are you pacing back and forth?” he asked.

  “Get out, Ian. I don’t want to see you.”

  “I called my father and he admitted that he did those things.”

  I stopped dead in my tracks and turned to him. “Of course you called him, because my word wasn’t good enou
gh.”

  “What did you do to him?” he asked as he stepped inside the room and shut the door.

  “Nothing. Why?”

  “He said you’re a crazy bitch and I need to kick you out of my house before you hurt someone.” He smiled. “What did you do or say to him?”

  “Did you ask him yourself?”

  “Yes. But he just said that you’re crazy and he wouldn’t tell me anything else.”

  I walked over and sat down on the bed. “I just grabbed him by his balls and told him that I’d rip them off if he ever looked my way or Mandy’s way again.”

  Ian busted out laughing. “Are you serious? I would’ve given anything to see that,” he said as he walked over to the bed and sat down next to me. He put his arm around me and pulled me into him.

  “I’m sorry, Rory. My dad has some serious issues and it all started when my mom left. I told him that he’s to apologize to you and Mandy on Thanksgiving.”

  “What did he say to that?”

  “He said he didn’t want to talk about it right now and that he probably won’t be coming for Thanksgiving.”

  “I’m sorry, Ian.”

  “Don’t be. It’s his problem, not ours. I’ll have a talk with Mandy tomorrow.”

  “She didn’t want you to know. She’s afraid that you’ll fire her.”

  “Why would I do that?” he asked.

  “Maybe because you intimidate people.”

  Ian sighed and pulled away. “Do I intimidate you?”

  “No. You just irritate me.”

  “Is that so?” he asked as he pushed me back on the bed and started tickling me.

  I wiggled around, trying to make him stop. Finally, he did, and he looked into my eyes as he ran his finger along my face. We stared at each other for a moment before he leaned down and softly brushed his lips against mine. We didn’t just have sex that night. We made love. It was beautiful and I knew Ian felt something more.

  Chapter 21

  Hollis, Indiana. The town where I spent the last thirteen and a half years of my life in pure misery. To come back to this place caused me pain and anxiety. Ian rented a car and we drove to my aunt’s house. As we pulled onto the street, I started to get extremely nervous and my chest felt like it was tightening.

  “It’s right here,” I said as I pointed to the white vinyl house on the right. The fall air was a lot cooler here than in Malibu.

  Ian pulled up to curb and grabbed my hand. “You’re strong, Rory. This place made you strong, so there’s nothing here that can hurt you anymore.”

  I smiled at him and we both got out of the car. I could see the look of disgust on Ian’s face as we walked towards the door. I lightly knocked and was shocked when I saw Shane open the door.

  “Rory?”

  “Hi, Shane.”

  “It’s good to see you, girl. Get in here.” He smiled as he hugged me.

  “Ian, this is Shane, my aunt’s drug dealer. Shane, this is Ian. He’s a friend.”

  Against Ian’s better judgment, they shook hands. The house was a mess. Shit was lying around everywhere.

  “Where’s Aunt Nancy?” I asked.

  “She just ran to the store. She’ll be back soon. What are you doing here?” he asked.

  “I came to put some closure on my past. My therapist said that I needed to. You know, the therapist I have to see because of the fucked up life Nancy provided for me.”

  Shane didn’t say anything as he walked to the refrigerator and grabbed a beer. “You want one?” he asked Ian and me. We both said no. “Nancy told me that Stephen attacked you. Is that true?”

  “Yes,” I said as I lifted up my shirt and showed him the scar. “He caught me off guard. Came at me from behind.”

  “I’m sorry, Rory.”

  “Yeah, me too, Shane. He’s in a psychiatric hospital, getting the help he needs.”

  “That’s good. That’s real good. That boy needs it.”

  “Why are you here?” I asked.

  “I’m living here now. My house caught on fire about a month ago, and Nancy was kind enough to take me in.”

  “Yeah, I bet she was. Let me guess; the house fire had something to do with you cooking up some crystal meth, didn’t it?”

  “I suppose you could say that,” he sighed.

  I walked to the room that Stephen and I shared. When I opened the door, everything was still exactly the way I left it. Ian walked in behind me and looked around. I was embarrassed to have brought him here and I shouldn’t have agreed to it.

  “Is this where you slept?” he asked as he pointed to the mattress on the floor.

  “Yeah,” I said as I turned around and walked out.

  I looked out the kitchen window at the barn that sat in the back. The place I would go to and escape.

  “You were always a good kid, Rory,” Shane said as he walked up behind me. “Is that your boyfriend?” he asked.

  “No, he’s just a friend. He saved my life.”

  “Have you been practicing those moves I’ve taught you?”

  “She sure has,” Ian spoke.

  The door opened and Nancy stopped when she saw me. “Rory, what are you doing here?” she asked nervously.

  For the first time in my life, I wasn’t afraid of her anymore. “I’m here to put closure on my past. You know; the one you fucked up,” I spat.

  “Stephen’s not here, is he?”

  Shane walked over, took the bags from her hands, and set them on the table as she walked inside.

  “No, Stephen’s not here. He’s locked away in a psychiatric hospital in California.”

  “Good, that’s where he should be,” she said.

  My emotions were running rampant and the hate that I thought I had buried came rushing back to me as I looked at her.

  “Who’s this?” she asked as she pointed to Ian.

  “This is Ian. Ian, this is my Aunt Nancy.”

  The two of them said hello and Nancy walked to the refrigerator and grabbed a beer. That was all the house reeked of: stale beer and cigarettes. It was a smell that I would never forget.

  “I know damn well you didn’t come here to say hi. So, say what’s on your mind and then you can get going.”

  I couldn’t say anything to her. I just stood there and stared at her, shaking my head. “I hope you rot in hell. Come on, Ian; let’s go,” I said as I walked to the door.

  “I’m sorry,” she said.

  I stopped as soon as she said that. Nancy had never been sorry about anything in her life. I turned around and glared at her. “You’re sorry? Sorry for what?” I asked as I slowly approached her. “Sorry for ruining mine and Stephen’s lives? Sorry for not being there for us and letting us raise ourselves? Sorry for never celebrating our birthdays, Christmas, or any other holiday that all the other families celebrated? Sorry for what!” I screamed.

  At that point, I was shaking and Ian walked over and clasped my shoulders. She looked at me with those stone cold eyes. The eyes that had the same look in them every single day. She wouldn’t say a word. I shook my head and turned away.

  “Your daddy. He was my life until your mom got drunk one night and slept with him.”

  Instantly, I felt sick to my stomach. “Rory?” Ian said.

  I wouldn’t turn around and look at her when I spoke. “You know who my father is?” I asked with a shaking voice.

  “Why do you think you didn’t meet me until you were seven years old? When your mom told me that she was pregnant, we didn’t speak for seven years. You and Stephen are the spitting image of him. That’s why I didn’t want you because every time I looked at the two of you, it was a reminder of how you ruined my life. What did I ever do that was so bad to deserve that?”

  I didn’t hesitate to whip my body around as fast as I could when she said that. “Did it ever fucking occur to you that it wasn’t about you? That it was about two poor innocent children that lost their mother and had nowhere to go.”

  Tears started to pour down her fac
e. “I just couldn’t. I couldn’t be a mother to you. I hated everything you represented.”

  “Nancy, that’s enough,” Shane said.

  “What’s my father’s name?” I asked. She didn’t answer me. I lunged towards her and Ian grabbed my arms. “What’s his name?!” I screamed.

  “Jimmy O’Rourke. His name is Jimmy O’Rourke.”

  “Do you know where he lives?”

  “No. After he found out your momma was pregnant, he took off. He told me he was sorry and he left. I have no idea where he went. He was the love of my life.”

  “Really? The love of your life slept with your sister and got her pregnant and then took off. What kind of real man does that?”

  “Rory, we better go, sweetheart,” Ian said. “I think you’ve heard enough.”

  “You’ll never see me or Stephen again. Goodbye, Aunt Nancy. Have a nice life.”

  I walked out the door and climbed into the rental car. Ian started the car and pulled out of the driveway. I needed to hold it together. No more pain. No more hurt. No more past.

  “You need to find us a hotel, Ian. Like now.”

  “Okay,” he said.

  “Seriously. This is no time to be fancy. Just pull into the first hotel you see.”

  “But, Rory—”

  “There’s no buts, Ian. Just fucking find a hotel, now!” I snapped.

  “Oh thank God,” Ian whispered as he pulled into the Hyatt Regency.

  He parked the car, grabbed our bags, and helped me out. “I saw a Holiday Inn Express a few miles back,” I said.

  “I’m sorry, Rory, but I’m not staying at a Holiday Inn.”

  We walked inside the hotel and one tear fell. The clerk handed Ian the key and we took the elevator up to the top floor. Ian found our room and slid in the key. He opened the door and when I stepped inside, another tear fell. I was losing control.

  “Rory, are you okay?” Ian asked.

  The sound of the hotel door shutting was the detonator that set off the tear bomb inside me. I sat down on the edge of the bed and cupped my face in my hands as the sobbing began.

  “Come here, sweetheart,” Ian said as he wrapped his arms around me.

  “I hate her, Ian.”