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Jamieson Finn (Redemption Series Book 3) Page 17
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“I don’t give a fuck. Get out of here!”
I left the room and Jackie looked at me.
“You okay?” she asked as she placed her hand on my shoulder.
“I’m fine.”
“Dr. Harper, you needed a psych consult?” Dr. Parker asked.
“Room two. Dr. Finn is in there right now. I would proceed with caution if I were you.”
“You called neuro?” he asked.
“He knows her,” I spoke as I walked away.
Chapter Thirty-Six
Grace
I went up to the rooftop and grabbed a cup of coffee. The look on Jamieson’s face when I spoke about his mother was the same look that night he knocked over the glass and I cut my arm. It frightened me. I now understood why he was so angry and would never talk about her. She was a schizophrenic. But it didn’t give him the right to go on the rampages he did. The way he screamed at me to get out of the room was the last straw. He was hot and cold, and when he was cold, it was unbearable. I had never had anyone treat me the way he did. One minute, he was kind, caring, and almost human. The next, he was rude, arrogant, and a bastard. Sam may have lied to me in the worst way possible, but he only once ever raised his voice to me. The night I found out he was married.
“There you are,” Renata spoke as she walked up behind me. “I heard about Jamieson’s mother, and I also heard about how he screamed at everyone down there, including you.”
“Did you know about her?” I asked.
“I did. Jamieson confided in me when he approached me about the grant for the research he wanted to do. I had never met her, though. I don’t think he’s seen her in a few years.”
“It doesn’t give him the right to treat people the way he does,” I spoke.
“I know.” She sighed. “I’m sorry you got involved with him, Grace. I did warn you, though.”
“You sure did.”
“Anyway, his mother has been admitted to the psychiatric ward until we can get her meds regulated,” she spoke.
“So it’s safe to go back down to the ER?”
“It’s safe. You still have to go home to him tonight.”
“I’m not going home. I’m staying here tonight. He needs his space and I’m sure I’m the last person he wants to see.”
She placed her hand on my shoulder.
“You just may be the only person he wants and needs to see.”
****
Jamieson
After checking on my mom, I went home for the evening. I pulled into the driveway and let out a deep breath when I saw that Grace’s car wasn’t there. I didn’t want to deal with her tonight and I didn’t want to talk about anything. I went inside, poured myself a scotch, grabbed my laptop, and sat down on the couch. My mother went off her meds and who the hell knew where she’d been the last five years. But this was nothing new. She’d been doing this shit since I was eight years old.
A few hours had passed, and Grace still wasn’t home. I turned everything off and headed upstairs to bed. I woke up around three a.m. Climbing out of bed, I went down to the kitchen for a bottle of water. On my way back up, I stopped outside her room and slowly opened her door. Her bed was empty and still perfectly made. I sighed and went back to bed.
The next morning, shortly after I arrived at the hospital, I was paged down to the ER for a consult.
“Let’s get her upstairs for a head CT,” I spoke.
After leaving the patient’s room, I walked over to the nurses’ station and Grace was standing there.
“You didn’t come home last night,” I spoke.
“I was tied up in surgery and I didn’t want to drive home that late.”
“I see. So you slept in the on-call room?”
“Yeah, I did.” She looked at me and walked away.
I glanced at Jackie, who was staring at me with her lips pressed together.
“What?” I asked.
“Nothing.” She arched her brow.
I went up to my mother’s room and found she was awake. Her meds were kicking in and she seemed to be in a normal state.
“Hi, Mom.” I smiled as I walked inside and grabbed hold of her hand.
“Jamie. My sweet boy. Thank you for coming to visit me.”
“How long have you been off your meds?” I asked.
“I don’t know. It’s been a long time. I couldn’t afford them anymore.”
“Mom, why didn’t you call me or come back? I would have helped you.”
“I’ve been such a burden to you since you were a little boy.” She placed her hand on my cheek. “You have a beautiful life and you don’t need me screwing it up. Tell me what’s been going on. Is there a woman in your life?”
“No.”
There was no way in hell I was telling her about Grace and what happened.
“Why not? You’re such a handsome and successful young man.”
“My work is my number one priority, Mom. It always has been.”
“Jamie, don’t do that. How about that young doctor who was with me yesterday?”
“Who?” I asked, knowing she was talking about Grace.
“She was blonde, very pretty, and so kind. I can’t remember her name.”
“Dr. Harper?” I asked.
“Possibly. I was hoping you could find her and ask her to come see me.”
“She’s a trauma surgeon, Mom.”
“I still would like to see her. Please, Jamie.”
“I’ll see if she’s available. In the meantime, I’m going to order a head CT.”
“Why?”
“I just want to make sure everything’s okay.”
“You already know I’m not okay.” She lightly smiled.
“I’m ordering it anyway. I’m going to find a cure for you,” I spoke as I squeezed her hand.
“I know you will, Jamie. You’re so highly intelligent. Use some of that intelligence to find someone to love and to share your life with. All I want is for you to be happy.”
“I am happy, Mom. Especially now that you’re back.”
My pager went off, and I was needed for a consult.
“I have to go. I’m needed in the ER.”
I kissed her forehead and then walked out.
“You paged me?” I asked Grace as I walked into the room.
“Twenty-one-year-old male with a gunshot wound to the right upper quadrant and no reflexes,” she spoke as she was in the middle of doing an ultrasound.
“The bullet must have penetrated his spinal cord,” I spoke.
“I need to get him up to the OR for a laparotomy. His abdomen is filling with blood,” Grace spoke.
“I’m scrubbing in.”
“Is that really necessary?” she asked.
“I just told you that the bullet may have penetrated his spine. So yes, it is necessary. Are you making this personal, Dr. Harper?” I spoke in a harsh tone.
“No. And how dare you insinuate that.” She cocked her head.
“Let’s get him up to the OR, then.”
Grace and I entered the scrub room and began scrubbing in.
“My mother wanted me to tell you that she would like for you to come see her,” I spoke.
“Why?”
“I don’t know. She said you were nice to her, so she probably wants to thank you or something.”
“Did you tell her about us?”
“There is no us and, no, I didn’t. I expect you to do the same,” I spoke deadpan.
“Trust me. You don’t have to worry about that.”
She walked into the OR first and I followed.
“Dr. Harper, I need to get to his spine immediately or he may never walk again.”
“If I don’t find out where this bleed is coming from, you won’t have to worry about it because he’ll bleed out and die. I’m doing the best I can, Dr. Finn.”
I didn’t like her attitude and I didn’t need it. Grace stopped the bleeding and I was able to remove the bullet that was lodged in his spine. We both sc
rubbed out and didn’t say a word to each other.
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Grace
“Asshole,” I mumbled to myself as I walked out of the scrub room.
I’d swear that man was bi-polar. I went up to visit his mom, and when I looked through the window to the room she was in, I saw she was sleeping. I went back down to the ER and Jackie asked me to join her for lunch. I was starving, and the ER was quiet for now.
“I seriously don’t think I can go home again tonight,” I spoke to her as we sat down in the cafeteria. “That man is unbearable.”
“Don’t let him keep you from your bed, Grace. Fuck Dr. Finn. Not literally, but you know what I mean.” She smirked. “That is your home too for the next six months. Don’t let him drive you out. Don’t give him that kind of power. If you really want to piss him off, rearrange his things.” She laughed. “Make a mess. He can’t kick you out. Make his home your home.” She pointed at me with her fork. “I know you got it in you, girl!”
“Since I’ve been there, I’ve felt like I’ve been walking on eggshells because I know he doesn’t want me there. Hell, I don’t want to be there. But it is nice being on the beach.”
“Then stop walking on eggshells.”
“You know what? Maybe you’re right. His problems aren’t mine. I told him everything about me. My parents’ death, Sam, everything. I never talked about what happened that night of the car accident to anyone. Not even Sam. But I told Jamieson, and for one night, he was so amazingly sweet. There is another side to him. A side he doesn’t let anyone see. Ever since his mother was admitted, he’s become so angry. I thought maybe things with him were starting to turn around after that night. But since his mother arrived and I treated her, it’s like he hates me even more now.”
“I don’t think he hates you, Grace. I think he’s probably embarrassed.”
“Maybe, but it doesn’t give him the right to act like an asshole. I’m so over it.”
“Good. Does that mean you’re sleeping at home tonight?” she asked.
“Damn right it does.” I smiled.
My shift ended, so before going home, I stopped at a Thai place and picked up some dinner. As soon as I pulled into the driveway, I let out a breath and thanked God that Jamieson wasn’t home. With any luck, he’d get a surgery and be tied up for hours.
I was sitting at the kitchen table eating my Pad Thai when I heard the door open. Shit. Jamieson walked into the kitchen and set a plastic bag down on the counter.
“I didn’t think you’d be home,” he spoke.
“Sorry to disappoint you,” I said.
He didn’t respond. He reached up into the cabinet and pulled down a plate. After putting his food on it, he brought it over to the table and sat down. I grabbed my plate, took it over to the sink, and then started to walk out of the kitchen.
“Aren’t you going to put your plate in the dishwasher?” he asked.
“I will tomorrow,” I spoke as I walked away and went up to my room.
I changed into my pajamas, climbed in bed, and turned on the TV. As I was lying there watching some Lifetime movie about a wife who murders her husband, there was a knock on my door.
“What?”
“Can I come in for a second?” Jamieson asked.
“I guess.”
The door opened, and Jamieson stood there with his hand on the handle.
“I scheduled Justin’s surgery for the day after tomorrow. He’s being admitted in the morning for some pre-op bloodwork and another CT scan. I put your name up on the surgical board, so make sure the ER is covered.”
“I’ll let Jackie know,” I spoke.
“By the way, I put your plate in the dishwasher.”
I gave him a fake smile before he shut the door. The next morning, I got up, got dressed, and went downstairs. I made enough coffee for one cup. Then I toasted a bagel, spread some cream cheese on it, and sat down at the island to eat before heading to the hospital. As I was sitting there, Jamieson walked into the kitchen. He walked over to the coffee pot and the first thing my eyes diverted to was his perfect ass in his tight black pants. Shit. He held up the coffee pot and looked at me.
“You drank all the coffee?” he asked.
“I made myself a cup.”
“Really?” His eye narrowed at me. “You couldn’t make a few cups?”
“No.” I took a bite of my bagel.
He shook his head as he made himself some.
“That’s really immature, Grace.”
“Apparently, I’m an immature person.” I took another bite of my bagel.
“What is the matter with you?” he asked. “Oh, that’s right. You’re a woman. You’re all bat shit crazy.”
I swallowed hard to control the anger that rose inside me.
“Did you ever stop to think that you’re the reason women around you are bat shit crazy? Oh wait, that’s right. You’re a man and you’re never ever wrong. You’re perfect. You live in your perfect little beach house, work your perfect little job, and treat perfectly good women with no respect in your perfect little way.”
“You really want to do this now?” His brow arched.
“Do what? Have a perfect little argument? No. I don’t. You aren’t worth arguing with,” I spoke in a stern tone as I grabbed my purse.
“You have made my life a living hell!” he shouted in anger.
“You make your own life a living hell, Jamieson. Stop blaming everyone else and own it!”
I took in a deep breath as I watched the anger tear through his body. He was a ticking time bomb and I was afraid I just set him to explode. He stood there and stared at me, then grabbed his keys off the counter and walked out of the house. If I could only get him to open up to me, things would be different. I didn’t know how much longer I could live like this.
I arrived at the hospital a few minutes late.
“There you are,” Jackie spoke.
“Sorry I’m late. Jamieson and I got into a fight this morning.”
“Over what?”
“I made one cup of coffee for me and he called me immature.”
Jackie snickered.
“And then it escalated from there,” I spoke. “I really hope I don’t have to see him the rest of the day.”
“Then let’s pray nobody comes into the ER and needs a neuro consult.” She put her arm around me.
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Jamieson
I went up to my mother’s room and she wasn’t in there.
“Kevin, where is my mother?” I asked.
“She left.”
“What? What do you mean she left?” I shouted.
“She discharged herself and wanted me to give this to you.”
He handed me a white envelope with my name on it. I took it from him, went down to my office, and opened it. Inside was a folded piece of paper with my mother’s writing on it. I leaned back in my chair and read it.
My dearest son,
It was so good to see you again. I’ve missed you so much, and as hard as it is, I must go. I know you will never understand, but it’s something I must do. I just hope you can forgive me. You have made me so very proud and I love you. Never forget that. I have my medication and I intend to get my life in order, but I need to do it alone. Be happy, Jamie. That’s all I want for you. You’re a brilliant surgeon and man and any woman would be lucky to be a part of your life. Until next time, my son. Love, Mom.
My eyes started to fill with tears, but I quickly stopped them as I threw the letter on my desk. This wasn’t anything new. It was what she did. My pager went off and I was needed down in the ER.
“You paged?” I asked Grace.
“Thirty-year-old male. MCC victim. He wasn’t wearing a helmet and has an open skull fracture. The paramedics had to intubate him in the field. We’re waiting for his x-rays now.”
“His pupils are sluggish,” I spoke.
“His abdominal ultrasound is clear,” Grace said.
�
�Dr. Finn, here are his x-rays,” Sara spoke as she walked into the room.
“Shit,” I spoke as I held them up and looked at them. “He needs to get in the OR now.”
“Grace, there’s a trauma coming in five minutes out. It’s a child,” Jackie spoke as she stuck her head in the room.
“Okay,” she spoke and then looked at me.
“I got this. If you need a neuro consult, page my resident.”
I rushed him up to the OR and did everything I could, but it wasn’t enough.
“Time of death, 14:05,” I sighed.
****
Grace
“Damn it. I need more pads,” I spoke. “More suction, Dr. Lasher.”
“He’s going into V-fib, Dr. Harper.”
“Start CPR and get the paddles,” I spoke. “Charge to 150. Clear.” I stared at the monitor. “Charge to 200. Clear. Damn it. Push Atropine now and charge to 200. Clear.”
“Dr. Harper,” Steve, the anesthesiologist, spoke.
I stared into his eyes as he slowly shook his head. I swallowed hard as I looked at the clock.
“Time of death, 14:45.”
I handed the paddles to Dr. Lasher and slowly walked out of the OR. I found the nearest stairwell and leaned against the wall, sinking down until I was on the ground. Tears started falling from my eyes as my hands wouldn’t stop shaking.
“Grace?” Jamieson asked as he stood over me. “What happened?”
I started to cry harder. Losing a child during surgery was the one thing I’d never get over. It was also the one thing I couldn’t deal with. Jamieson sat down next to me and grabbed hold of my hand.
“I couldn’t save him. He was only seven years old. His injuries were too severe, and he bled out and coded.”
“I’m sorry.” He brought my hand up to his lips. “I know how hard it is. It’s bad enough when they’re adults, but when they’re children, it’s far worse. Come here.”
He let go of my hand, wrapped his arm around me, and I laid my head on his shoulder.
“Have you told the parents yet?”
“No,” I cried. “God, I hate this.”
“If you want, I’ll come with you and tell them.”
“Thanks, but I have to do it.” I sniffled.