The Negotiation Page 15

  “Hello, Mr. Caine,” I abruptly spoke.

  “Emily,” he replied with nervousness. “What are you doing here?”

  “The question is, Jackson, what are you doing here? I thought you had to work late because there was a problem at the office?!” I voiced a bit too loudly.

  “There was and I took care of it.”

  “It’s only eight thirty. You couldn’t have called me?”

  “Why would I call you? I already cancelled our date for tonight, and I didn’t see a need to.”

  “Because it’s only eight thirty and it’s still early.”

  “Sorry, Emily. I don’t know what to say,” he spoke in a rude tone.

  “Yeah, well, I know what to say. Fuck you, Jackson!” The words angrily spewed out of my mouth.

  I walked back to the table, grabbed my purse, and told Katie we were leaving. She threw some cash down and ran out after me.

  “What did he say?”

  “Nothing. He had nothing to say.” I held up my hand for a cab.

  When one finally pulled up, we climbed inside, and the tears began to fall from my eyes.

  “Why the fuck am I crying?”

  “Because you’re hurt, Em.” She rubbed my back.

  “I don’t cry over guys.” I wiped the tears with my hand.

  “You do if you’re in love with them.”

  “I’m not in love with him.”

  “Then you wouldn’t care and you wouldn’t be crying.”

  The cab pulled up to my apartment building and I told Katie that I wanted to be alone and not to come up. She understood as she hugged me goodbye and the cab pulled away from the curb. After unlocking the door, I changed into my nightshirt and then sat down on the couch, bringing my knees to my chest. I tried to process what had just happened. The look on his face and the tone of his voice were as if he didn’t care.

  “UGH!” I screamed as I jumped up from the couch. What was this I was feeling? I needed to get a grip and get hold of myself. What did I do to make him behave like that towards me? The words my mother told me kept playing over and over like a broken record. “We Wade women do not let others, especially men, control or wreak havoc on our emotional state.”

  And that was exactly what I was doing. I was letting him wreak havoc on my emotional state, something I had never let happen before and I didn’t know how to stop it. I climbed into bed around ten p.m. with my laptop and tried to distract myself from how I was feeling by going over today’s sales from the shop.

  “Emily, it’s me. Open up!” Jackson pounded on the door.

  Jumping out of bed, from fear that my neighbors would call the police, I ran to the door and opened it.

  “Are you crazy? Do you want someone to call the cops?”

  “May I come in?”

  “No.”

  “Then I’ll just stand here in the hallway until you talk to me.”

  “Jackson.” I sighed. “I’m too tired to deal with this right now.”

  “Why are your eyes all puffy and red? Have you been crying?”

  “No.”

  “Come on, Emily. Just let me in and we can talk about tonight.”

  “There’s nothing to talk about. Remember? You don’t know what to say?”

  He closed his eyes as he pursed his lips.

  “I was angry with you today.”

  “For what?”

  “If you let me inside, I’ll explain.”

  “Fine.” I waved my hand.

  He stepped through the door with his hands tucked tightly in his pants pockets and followed me into the living area.

  “Tell me what I did that made you angry? Because I haven’t got a clue.”

  “Who was that guy you were with earlier?”

  “What guy?” I furrowed my brows.

  “The one in your shop. I stopped by earlier this afternoon because I wanted to see the espresso bar, and when I walked in, I saw you hugging him and, to top it off, he was running his finger up and down your arm and you seemed to be enjoying it.”

  “You mean Jake?” I cocked my head.

  “Is that his name?” He narrowed his eye at me and I didn’t appreciate his tone.

  “Jake happens to be a friend of mine. We went to Parsons together and then he dropped out and moved to Italy to study fashion. He just moved back to New York and heard I opened a shop and he came to see me. Oh, and if you must know, he’s gay!” I shouted.

  He stood there, looking down, hands still tucked inside his pockets.

  “I’m sorry,” he softly spoke, for he knew he fucked up big time.

  “You’re sorry for what?” I asked in a commanding tone. “Sorry that you jumped to conclusions? Sorry that you didn’t bother to come see me while you were standing in my shop staring at us? Sorry that you cancelled our date for no fucking reason at all?!!” I shouted. “You, Jackson, broke rule number seven about open communication and honesty!”

  He lifted his head and his eyes met mine.

  “You can’t possibly understand, Emily, because I don’t understand it myself.”

  “Understand what?”

  “The feeling I got when I saw you with him. I don’t know why I got so angry, and I’m sorry. I am truly sorry. I didn’t handle the situation well because I had never been confronted with something like that before.”

  “Don’t you trust me?”

  “Of course I trust you. Like I said, I’m sorry. Can you forgive me?”

  I turned my back on him because I didn’t want him to see the tears that formed in my eyes. If he trusted me, he wouldn’t have done what he did, and that hurt. I felt his arms wrap around my waist from behind.

  “I’m sorry,” he whispered in my ear.

  A part of me wanted to punish him, yet another part of me melted in his arms. He made a mistake. I, for one, am guilty of making plenty in my lifetime.

  “Okay. I accept your apology. But what you did, cancelling our date because of what you saw without even talking to me first, was a dick move on your part.”

  “I know it was.” His arms tightened around me.

  I turned my body until we were in a full embrace; my arms locked around him.

  “We just had our first fight.” He kissed the top of my head.

  “We did and I didn’t like it.”

  “Me either.” His hands planted themselves on each side of my face as his lips brushed tenderly against mine. “Isn’t there something called make-up sex?”

  “Yes.” Our lips continued to tangle.

  “Then we better get to it.” He smiled as he picked me up and carried me to the bedroom.

  Chapter 33

  Emily

  It had been a week since Jackson and I had our first fight and things were going great. We both agreed to put it behind us and never speak of it again.

  Walking into Tavern on the Green, I spotted Crystal sitting in a booth sipping on a cocktail. She smiled and stood up when she saw me walking towards the table.

  “Emily, darling. You look fantastic.” She hugged me.

  “How are you, Crystal?”

  “I’m good. How’s the shop doing?”

  “Really well. Thank you.”

  I took a seat across from her and ordered a martini.

  “I’m going to just come right out and ask you,” I spoke as I placed my napkin in my lap. “And I want the honest to God’s truth.”

  She pursed her lips and took in a deep breath as she waited for my question.

  “Is Gregory my father?”

  She picked up her drink and took a small sip. “Yes. He is your father.”

  “How could you keep that from me all these years?”

  “Because your mother asked me to, and she was my best friend. She told me that as far as she was concerned, Gregory never existed and that part of her life was gone. The day she found out he wasn’t coming home from training, she changed. I didn’t think a person could change that much and so quickly. She said that you were the only person in the world who
mattered and she was going to start a new life, in a new place. One where she could make a fresh start and raise you.”

  “I don’t understand. If she loved him, she would have waited for him,” I spoke.

  “Your mom felt abandoned. Even though she told him she was pregnant before he left, he still wanted to go. He put his dreams before you and her, and she couldn’t handle it. Gregory was her first love and she was so heartbroken that she convinced herself that all men were like him. That if she gave her heart to someone else, they too would leave. She told me that she couldn’t ever love another man because she didn’t want you to experience the abandonment she felt. If things didn’t work out and you grew attached, it would be hard on you. She was trying to protect you, even though I didn’t agree.”

  “So you’re saying that I was the reason she never would allow herself to settle down with someone?”

  “It was both of you. She was protecting you as well as herself.”

  “Why did she lie to me about not knowing who my father was?”

  “Because it was too painful to talk about him. Even after all those years that passed, she never got over him. She thought if she told you, then you would ultimately want to find and meet him, and she couldn’t allow that.”

  “Why?” I narrowed my eyes.

  “Because, Emily,” she placed her hand on mine, “he abandoned you before you were even born and, in her mind, he didn’t deserve to know you.”

  I looked up at the ceiling, trying to prevent the tears from falling.

  “That was my decision.” I pointed to myself. “She had no right to keep me from knowing my father because he broke her heart. All she had to do was wait for him.”

  “Your mother had a lot of issues. Her father left when she was a child and she watched every day how her mother waited for him to come back and he never did. In her mind, it was history repeating itself with Gregory.”

  “But she told me that my grandfather died.”

  “That’s what she told everyone. He told her and her mom that he was running to the store to buy a pack of cigarettes and he never came back. A couple of days later, your grandmother found a letter from him in her drawer saying that he wasn’t happy and he had no choice but to leave. That was why she begged Gregory not to leave. She was trying to protect you from the pain that she had suffered for so many years with the abandonment from her father.”

  I swallowed hard because I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. My mother, the person I trusted most in the world, lied to me. After talking for a while longer, I needed some fresh air, so I thanked Crystal for meeting with me and telling me the truth.

  Stepping outside, I felt lost. I pulled my phone from my purse and stared at it as I contemplated calling Jackson, but I couldn’t. I didn’t want to need him so much. So I took a cab to the cemetery where my mother was buried and kneeled down before her grave. The clouds were rolling in and the air had become crisp. But it didn’t matter, because I needed to tell her how I felt.

  “Mom. I know you had your reasons, but why? Why did you lie to me? All your lectures over the years about happily ever after and relationships were to protect you. You made me believe that nothing good could come from being in a relationship. You made me believe that falling in love with someone was a horrible thing. I trusted you to tell me the truth. That’s what parents are supposed to do.”

  The rain started to fall from the sky as I pounded my fists down on her grave.

  “But instead, you told me things that you forced yourself to believe because you couldn’t bear to be hurt again. You may have thought you were protecting me, but you weren’t; you were only setting me up for failure. I’ve met someone and he means the world to me, and because of what you taught me, I signed a fucking contract to be his companion. I’ve never been anyone’s girlfriend because I couldn’t allow myself to be after listening to you all those years. I’ve had sex with multiple men and when they tried to want more of me, I ran just like you did. I played it safe because of everything you put in my head,” I yelled as the rain soaked me. “You molded me into you and I never had the chance to be my own person.”

  It felt like a whole new set of emotions flooded through me, as if the rain was cleansing my soul and opening up a part of me that I didn’t know even existed. I wiped the tears and the rain from my face as I stood up and walked away. Instead of hailing a cab, I walked in the rain down the streets of New York until I stumbled upon a coffee house. Making my way inside, I took seat at one of the small square tables by the window.

  “Honey, you are soaked. Let me get you a towel,” the older woman with a friendly smile spoke.

  A few moments later, she returned.

  “Here you go. Dry yourself off. What can I get for you?”

  “Thank you. I’ll just have a vanilla latte with almond milk, please.”

  “Coming right up, sweetie.”

  I dried myself off the best I could, pulled my phone from my purse, and noticed a text message from Jackson.

  “How did your lunch go with Crystal?”

  It had been two hours since he sent it and I didn’t know whether or not to respond. I wasn’t sure of anything anymore. But I didn’t want him to worry, so I replied.

  “It upset me to hear what she had to say and to be honest I’m not sure how I’m feeling.”

  “Where are you? Are you back at the shop?”

  “No. I’m sitting in a coffeehouse in Brooklyn.”

  “Which one?”

  I looked up at the menu on the wall.

  “Blue Bottle Coffee.”

  “I’m on my way. Do not leave there.”

  I picked up the white coffee cup and held it between my hands as I sipped it and stared out onto the wet streets of Brooklyn. The rain didn’t seem to want to let up. As I was reflecting on my thoughts, the door to the coffeehouse opened and Jackson stepped inside, closing his umbrella. Walking over to the table, he stood there and looked at me as he tilted his head to the side.

  “Were you out playing in the rain?” he asked.

  I couldn’t help but let a small smile cross my lips.

  “Something like that.”

  He took a seat across from me and the waitress flew over immediately.

  “You look like you could use a fresh hot cup of coffee.” She smiled.

  “That sounds good. Just black.”

  “Coming right up.” She winked as she walked away.

  Jackson reached over and grabbed hold of my hand, which was resting on the table.

  “Give me the run down.”

  I inhaled a deep breath as I stared at him.

  “Gregory is definitely my father. My mother lied to me not only about him but about my grandfather. In fact, she lied to me about everything. She just couldn’t stick around and wait for Gregory because of her own fears.”

  “And Crystal knew this the whole time?”

  “Yeah.” I nodded my head. “But my mother made her promise that she would never speak of it.”

  “I’m sorry, Emily,” he spoke as his thumb stroked my hand.

  “Me too. I went to her grave and pretty much told her off.”

  “Do you feel better now?”

  “A little.” I lightly smiled.

  The corners of his mouth curved upwards. I was happy he was here. In fact, I was happy all the time with him in my life and it felt good. We talked for a while longer and then we climbed into his limo and he drove me home.

  “I wish I could stay, but I have a meeting tonight,” he spoke.

  “I’m fine, Jackson. Evelyn and Katie are coming over later.”

  He leaned over and kissed my lips.

  “I’ll call to check up on you after my meeting.”

  “Okay.” I smiled.

  I was exhausted, so I changed into my sweatpants and a tank top and lay on top of the bed for a nap before my friends came over.

  Chapter 34

  Jackson

  As I was preparing for my meeting, my phone rang
and it was Jules.

  “Hey,” I answered.

  “Hey. I just got off the phone with Mom and she wants us to come over for dinner on Saturday night. Just the two of us.”

  “I’m seeing Emily Saturday night, so no.”

  “She needs to talk to us.”

  “I don’t care what she needs. I have plans and I’m not cancelling them.”

  “Carter and I had plans too. It’s our only night off together this week.”

  “Okay. Then the four of us will show, and after we leave there, we’ll go do something.”

  “Do you think she’ll mind? She said she only wanted the two of us.”

  “I really don’t give a damn if she minds or not. It’s the four of us or nothing. In fact, just tell her we’ll be there but don’t tell her that Emily and Carter are coming.”

  “Oh my God. She’ll be mad.” She laughed.

  “And? She has spent her whole life making us mad. Maybe it’s our turn now.”

  “Brilliant. I’ll give her a call. Talk to you soon.”

  ****

  Emily

  After Katie and Evelyn left, I sat down on the couch and wrapped myself in a blanket. I didn’t know what to do next and I didn’t know how to feel. But the one thing I did know was how much I needed Jackson. Evelyn and Katie told me it was okay to need him as much as I did because he was more to me than just a companion, and no matter how many times I fought myself, at the end of the day, I was in love with him. He completed my life, and now that I knew my mother said all those things only to protect her heart, it all came full circle. Jackson Caine was a man that, for the first time in my life, I loved. Was it scary to admit that? Yes, of course it was, because for so long, I didn’t believe that it was possible for me to love any man. I’d kept myself closely guarded because of the pain I always saw in my mother’s eyes—the pain that resided in her each time she had to let a man walk out of her life. I remembered that night when I was thirteen years old after she ended things with Gerald because he told her that he loved her. The sadness in her eyes when she was sitting on the edge of my bed told me that she was afraid to love him back.

  As I was pondering my thoughts, my phone rang and Jackson was calling.