One Night In Paris Read online

  “Don’t,” I cried. “Please.”

  He jerked his arm out of my grip and stepped into the elevator. The doors shut and I fell to my knees and pounded on them as I screamed his name. I gathered myself from the floor, shaking and crying like my life had just been ripped away from me. I walked up the stairs, grabbed my suitcase from the closet, and threw some of my clothes into it. I went into the bathroom, gathered my makeup and toiletries, and threw them in a duffle bag. Grabbing my phone, I texted Franco.

  “Are you home?”

  “I just walked in. Why?”

  “I need to talk to you. I’m on my way over.”

  “Okay. I’ll be here. Everything okay?”

  I didn’t respond and tossed my phone in my purse. I grabbed the duffle bag and my suitcase and headed out of the penthouse. I arrived at Franco’s apartment and lightly knocked on the door. I didn’t feel like digging out my key.

  “Why didn’t you—Anna, what happened?” he asked as he looked down and saw my suitcase.

  I broke down and my bottom lip started to quiver.

  “Wes left me.”

  “What? Get in here.”

  He pulled me into his apartment and then grabbed my suitcase. Placing his hands on my shoulders, he led me over to the couch.

  “What happened? Why would he leave you?”

  “He wants kids and I don’t. We got into a huge fight about it and he said if I didn’t want them, then there was no use in moving forward.” I cried on his shoulder.

  “Shit. It’s okay.” He held me. “Everything is going to be okay.”

  Chapter Thirty-One

  Wes

  I took a cab to the heart of Hell’s Kitchen and entered a bar called Pocket Bar. After planting myself on a stool, the bartender walked over to me.

  “What can I get you, man?”

  “Scotch on the rocks and keep them coming.”

  “Sure thing,” he said as he tapped his knuckles on the counter.

  I pulled out my phone and dialed Christopher.

  “Hey, Wes.”

  “Can you meet me in Hell’s Kitchen at the Pocket Bar? I need to talk to you.”

  “Sure. Is everything okay?”

  “No. It’s not. I’ll see you soon.”

  The bartender set my drink in front of me and I downed it like it was water. He poured me another and I sat there, holding it between my hands, thinking about Anna and everything that was said and happened.

  “Hey,” Christopher said as he walked up from behind and placed his hand on my shoulder. He took a seat next to me and ordered a scotch. “What’s going on?”

  “Anna doesn’t want kids.”

  “Why?”

  “Because of her mother and what happened to her, even though she won’t admit it.”

  “Gee, Wes, I’m sorry. The two of you never discussed kids before?”

  “No, and I’m glad I brought it up today. Could you imagine if I married her and then found out.”

  “Bro, what do you mean ‘if’?”

  “I broke up with her, took the ring back, and told her to move out.”

  “You’re kidding me.”

  “No. I’m not.” I glanced over at him as I brought my glass up to my lips. “I thought I knew her. I guess I didn’t.”

  “Maybe she’ll change her mind. She loves you and you love her. You can’t let something like this tear you apart.”

  “She won’t change her mind. Bartender.” I held up my glass. “She was very adamant about it.”

  “Wes, you love her more than life.”

  “I know and I also love children. You knew how happy I was when Alexa told me she was pregnant. Even though I wasn’t in love with her, I was ecstatic that I was going to be a father. Then you saw what it did to me when I found out she lied. I’ve always wanted a family, and when I met Anna and fell in love with her, I thought she loved me enough to want to have one with me.”

  “She does love you. The two of you can work this out. Come on, bro.” He hooked his arm around me. “Don’t let this destroy what the two of you have. I’m sorry that I have to say this, but there’s more to life than wanting kids. You have to step outside the box and look at the bigger picture.”

  “I have looked at the bigger picture, and it consisted of me and Anna at home with small children running around us. That was my bigger picture, Christopher, and without that, I don’t see how the two of us together can work. If we were together, in the back of my mind, I’d always resent her for not wanting to start a family, and she’d always resent me for wanting one.”

  I threw back the last of my scotch and Christopher helped me home.

  Chapter Thirty-Two

  Anna

  A couple of days had passed, and I didn’t get out of bed once. I couldn’t. I didn’t have the strength after all the crying I’d done. All of this because he wanted kids and I didn’t. Franco took care of me the best he could, and I willingly let him.

  “Anna, you need to get out of this bed. In all my years of knowing you, I have never seen you like this. You’re stronger than this, girl. I’m worried about you, and if you don’t get up, I’m going to have you committed to a psych hospital.”

  I pushed the covers back that were covering my head and looked at him.

  “That’s a good idea. I think I belong there.”

  A smile crossed his lips. “There’s my girl.”

  “Franco, I can’t get up. I seriously don’t even want to deal with life.”

  “Anna, you haven’t showered in days, and what about the shop?”

  “Francine thinks I have the flu.”

  “Listen, girl. I love you to pieces but get your sorry ass out of bed right now.”

  He set a piece of paper down on the nightstand.

  “I’m giving you tough love because I love you and I’m worried. I made an appointment for you to see a therapist. His name is Dr. Stark and he’s supposedly the best in Manhattan. I got his name and number from a friend of mine. Your appointment is for three o’clock. Luckily, they had a cancellation today. You better go, Anna. I have to run. I have a meeting with a client.” He kissed my forehead and walked out of the room.

  I let out a huff and pulled the covers back over my head. A few moments later, I threw them back and sat up. Looking over at the nightstand, I picked up the piece of paper and looked at it. Damn him. I climbed out of bed and hopped into the shower, got myself together, and went downstairs. I couldn’t believe Wes hadn’t bothered to call or text me. It was obvious he didn’t care. I grabbed my purse and headed out the door to Dr. Stark’s office.

  I signed in and took a seat in the waiting room. I didn’t need this, and I didn’t belong here. I changed my mind. I was out. Just as I got up from my seat to walk out the door, a tall and handsome older man with long hair, casual clothes, and beads around his neck stepped into the waiting area and called my name.

  “Anna?” He smiled. “You’re not trying to escape, are you?”

  “Caught me.” I nervously laughed.

  “I’m Dr. Stark. I know it’s hard being here, especially if you’ve never been to a therapist’s office before. It can be intimidating. Come with me to my space and give me a chance. If you don’t like our conversation, then you won’t ever have to come back. Deal?”

  I liked him. He seemed nice and genuine and from another decade. There was something about his voice that made me feel comfortable.

  “Deal.” I smiled.

  “I ask when we get to my office, you remove your shoes,” he said.

  Okay. This guy is weird.

  I followed him into his office and was taken aback by the décor. I removed my shoes and set them on the shoe rack by the door. I looked around at the orange-painted walls with different types of tapestries that hung on them, all in bold and beautiful colors and designs. Beads hung down off the to the side, separating this room from another. Large round pillow chairs that sat on the ground in different colors graced the space as well as a teal-colored futo
n with multi-print pillows that lined the wall.

  “May I offer you some coffee or water?” he asked.

  “Coffee would be great. Umm. Your office is really cool.”

  “Thanks. But I don’t consider it an office. It’s a gathering space where people can be comfortable and relax.”

  “Let me guess, you never got out of the seventies. Did you?” I smirked.

  “Nope.” He smiled as he handed me my coffee. “Sit anywhere you want. Couch, chair, floor. Feel free to lie on the floor if you want. Stretch out, cross your legs. The most important thing is that you’re comfortable and you don’t feel like you’re in therapy.”

  I took a seat on the teal-colored couch and brought my legs up to my chest as I sipped my coffee. This was kind of cool and I felt more relaxed than I had in days. He sat Indian-style on one of the big fluffy pillow chairs across from me and I found myself talking non-stop when he asked why I was there.

  “Do you hate children?” he asked me.

  “No. Of course not. I like children.”

  “But you don’t want any of your own because you’re afraid you’ll fuck them up like your parents did you, right?”

  Okay. Wow. This guy is raw.

  “I don’t consider myself fucked-up, Dr. Stark. I am an independent woman who knows what she wants.”

  “And kids are what you don’t want.”

  “Right. I don’t want children.”

  “Because you’re afraid you’ll fuck them up like your parents did you.”

  “Yes,” I involuntarily blurted out.” Damn it.

  He looked at me with a smile and nodded his head.

  “Congratulations, Anna. You just took the first step in healing yourself.”

  We talked some more, and when the timer went off, I didn’t want to leave. I felt like we were making some sort of progress.

  “Do you think you want to come back and chat again?” he asked.

  “Yes, Dr. Stark. I do. I actually want to come every day if possible.”

  “Every day?” he asked with surprise.

  “Yes. We have a lot of ground to cover. I don’t care what it costs because I can afford it. So pencil me in for the rest of the week. And if you can’t get me in, then make it after hours and I will pay double your fee.”

  “Okay. Cindy will set up the appointments for you.” He smiled.

  I walked out of his space and hailed a cab back to the apartment. When I walked in, Franco was in the kitchen cooking.

  “How did it go?” he asked without turning around.

  “It was fabulous. I love Dr. Stark. He is so cool, and his space is like I was transported to the 70’s.”

  He turned around and looked at me with a shocked expression on his face.

  “You, Anna Young, liked therapy?”

  “It’s not therapy. It’s chatting.” I smiled.

  He walked over to me and placed his hands on each side of my face and forcefully planted a kiss on my lips.

  “It is so good to hear you say that and to see you smile again.”

  “I have an appointment with him every day this week. I told him we have a lot of ground to cover. Thanks, Franco.”

  “You’re welcome, sweet cheeks.”

  Chapter Thirty-Three

  Wes

  Three weeks had passed, and I hadn’t seen or heard from Anna. I’d been a bear to anyone who crossed my path. My bed at night was lonely and even lonelier in the mornings. I couldn’t bear to go home after the office anymore because everything there reminded me of her. The home I once loved was now the place I dreaded the most.

  It was the middle of the afternoon and I was walking down West 84th Street when I saw Anna turn the corner. I quickly stepped into a store and watched her pass by. She looked beautiful, but the spark in her eye wasn’t there. I stepped out of the store and followed her, mixing in with the street crowd so she wouldn’t notice me. She went inside a building, and when I reached it, I looked at the name that was engraved on a brass plate that hung on the brick wall to the left of the door, Dr. Nathan Stark, PsyD. A psychologist? She was seeing a psychologist?

  Later that night, as I was sitting in my usual spot at the Post Bar, the door opened. When I turned around to see what all the noise was, I noticed a group of people filtered inside. My heart started racing when I saw Anna amongst those people. I turned around, desperately trying to remain calm as I threw back my drink and asked the bartender for another one.

  “Wes?” I heard her soft voice from behind.

  Shit.

  I turned around as she stood there, and our eyes locked on to each other’s.

  “Anna. What are you doing here?”

  “It’s Lars’ birthday. Are you here alone?”

  “Yeah. I am.”

  “Why?”

  “Why not?” I spoke deadpan as I turned around. “I’m sorry. I just didn’t expect to see you.”

  “I didn’t expect to see you either. How are you?”

  “As good as can be expected, I guess. How are you?”

  “The same as you.”

  “You better get back to your friends,” I said as I finished off my drink, threw some cash on the counter, and got up from my seat.

  “Yeah. I guess I better. It was good to see you.”

  “Yeah.” I nodded and walked out the door.

  Instead of hailing a cab right away, I started walking down the street. I needed the air. It had seemed she moved on. She was out with her friends having fun while I sat in a bar alone. My choice, I know, but I couldn’t bring myself to have any type of fun since our breakup.

  “Wes!” I heard her shout.

  I stopped dead center in the middle of the sidewalk while people pushed their way around me. I didn’t turn around. I couldn’t.

  “You asked me how I was, and I lied to you,” she said from behind. “I’m not as good as could be expected. In fact, I’m not good at all. I hate that this happened with us. I cry myself to sleep every night and wish you were lying next to me. I check my phone a hundred times a day wishing and hoping that it would ring and you’d be on the other end. I miss you, Wes.”

  I slowly turned around and looked at the sadness in her eyes, the same sadness I had in mine. I wanted to reach out and grab her and tell her that everything was going to be okay, but I wasn’t sure if it ever would be again.

  “I miss you too, Anna.”

  “Can we go somewhere and talk?” she asked.

  “Don’t you have a party to join?”

  “They can party without me. I didn’t even feel like coming, but Franco dragged me out of the apartment.”

  “I’m not sure there’s anything to talk about. We’re just going to rehash the same old shit and end up in another argument.”

  “Is that how you really feel?” she asked.

  “It doesn’t matter how I feel. It’s the truth. I want a family with you and you don’t. What’s left to say?”

  “I have a lot to say, and so do you. Even if you don’t want to admit it. I have fears that I should have expressed to you, but instead, I shut down and stood my ground. I shouldn’t have been so quick to react the way I did.”

  “You’re right, I do have a lot to say, but I don’t want to hurt you any more than you’re already hurting.”

  “It’s okay. I can take it. I know it’s been three weeks and it’s been the longest three weeks of my life. But I’ve been in therapy every day and Dr. Stark has really helped me to see things in a different light.”

  “Every day?” I asked.

  “Yes. I told him we had a lot of ground to cover.”

  I couldn’t help but let out a chuckle.

  “Where do you want to talk?” I asked.

  “Central Park would be a good place.”

  “Central Park it is.”

  We took a cab over to the entrance of Central Park where Cherry Hill was. It was quiet there and a beautiful night to sit by the lake and talk. Before we made it there, Anna had the cab driver stop at he
r apartment so she could grab a blanket for us to sit on. I couldn’t help but smile when she suggested it. Once we arrived, we spread out the blanket and we both sat down.

  “I have a mechanism inside me that shuts down when someone tells me what they want from me. It’s a fear mechanism because of how I was raised. If something scares me enough, I shut down instantly, and I close myself off. When you brought up the subject of children, the only thing I could see was me not being able to love and nurture that child like my mother couldn’t me. It wasn’t a fear I was projecting on myself; it was out of fear for the child. That’s why I never wanted kids. Because I was so afraid of fucking them up and putting them through what I went through. I’m literally scared to be a mom, and over the years, I created this story in my mind and I made myself believe that I would be a horrible mother like mine was. Don’t get me wrong, Wes, I love kids. I really do. I’m just afraid for them and you.”

  “Me? Why me?”

  “Because I saw how it hurt my father and I saw how after time, he resented me for it, and it tore my parents apart.”

  “You’re not your mother, Anna, and I’m not your father. I understand your fear, I really do. When Alexa told me that she was pregnant, I was over the moon with happiness. Even though I didn’t love her, I was going to be a father. Then, when I found out that there was never a baby, it destroyed me. I spent years hiding myself from women because I couldn’t trust them. Then I met you and you changed all that for me. All I could see was us having a family together. Then when you said you didn’t ever want to have kids, like you, I shut down and walked away thinking it would be easier instead of standing there while you broke my heart. But it hasn’t been easy at all. I’ve been a total mess these past three weeks. I wanted to reach out to you, but I didn’t want to bear any more pain. For fuck sakes, this isn’t worth it. Being without you is not worth it. Any of it. If you don’t want kids, I can live with that, Anna. Because all I want is to spend the rest of my life with you.”

  “No, you can’t, Wes. Just like I can’t live with not having a family with you.”

  “What? What are you saying?”